I’ve always had a very abusive relationship with my body. Whether it’s coffee, choice of food, or lack of exercise, my physical health is what receives the complete repercussions while my brain carries on with indifference. My eyes look to the next page or change tabs on the browser window, but my body aches and my eyelids burn. I think one of the most human responses to this is stress. I’ve used stress to vindicate my negative actions more times than I’d be willing to admit. What if there was a way to separate the two entities? Could I find other ways to cope with stress and see other triggers that prompt the consumption of energy drinks and ridiculous amounts of Chinese food?
Last week I had a pretty hefty midterm on Friday as well as an abundant succession of work throughout the entire week. Sunday night I started with making a few cups of coffee in the quiet environment of my room. It wasn’t too chaotic, but papers were thrown and lost on the floor, books were knocked over, and what was once a clean floor became a dumping ground for course syllabuses, assignment sheets, and textbooks. Later in the week, Thursday night specifically, I actually had to take the work out of my room to avoid the clutter. I worked in the lounge with some other students, taking two 5 Hour Energy Shots, drinking an AMP, and then eating the worst meal possible from the local Chinese Food establishment. Somewhere around midnight I began having chest pains and started telling myself that once the stress was gone I was going to detox and everything would be dandy. That’s how it works, right?
After finishing the midterm, the first thing I did was go back to get more Chinese food with a group of friends. Maybe stress is a good excuse for poor decisions, but sometimes we’re left with the opium of our coping mechanisms long after the stress leaves. Last night I cleaned my room and found mold in the coffee maker that sat idle with cold coffee for seven days. My workload now is a little heavier than it was last week, but I’m determined to not let stress control me. At least not in any physical sense.
Stage Fright 