Taking the back trail up to the mansion doesn’t sound like a feat, especially when most students walk it every day. For most upperclassmen, it’s our closest route to our classes. However, things beyond our control can truly shake the gravel that we’re so used to walking. But we’re in the midst of a downpour and students waiting for the bus are huddled beneath the roof and under umbrellas, trying to stay out of the rain. The back trail is flooded. To scale it you have to be ready to jump from muddy mound to unstable rocks.
This semester I’ve tried to sync into a routine, something to keep me at a steady pace. It makes the days seem a little dry with repetition, but I always end them knowing something that I didn’t before, or completed something that was unfinished before. However, there have been moments this semester where I’ve broken down and told myself that I can’t make it through the workload that I have. These talks usually come when something external bumps into my routine, whether it is loss or issues with a lover or friend.
I’m a drenched right now, but still hopping. It scares me just how much the rocks wobble.
Stage Fright 
I STILL BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I believe in routines–I wouldn’t make it through life without my daily “rituals”–but there’s something to be said for deviating from our usual paths. Still, I know what you mean. If a routine helps you get through a difficult time, stick with it. And the workload will subside; it really will! You’ll get through the semester and say, “Patty, I got straight A’s!” I’ll be cheering for you the whole time, Andrew. I know you can do this!
P.S. Out of curiosity, I read “Man of Light and Stone” – it was deeply moving, a eulogy without being called a eulogy. I think one of the best ways we can honor those we have loved and lost is to write about them, write about what stays with us after they have left us full of questions. I’ll reread it, and I’ll remember. I am sorry for your loss, my friend.
-Patty
Alex, I’ve never gone to college, but know that it is a very daunting task. So many books and papers. so little time. Having a routine is helpful to most. It sucks when that routine is broken by the unexpected. But sometimes we need to be broken out of our routines. If only just to remind us that there is another world going on at the same time. A little shift keeps us from getting bogged down by the mundane and forces us to grow emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even physically. It’s not the easy and stable road that makes us strong, but the obstacle track. Every now and then a hurdle causes us to fly up and over. Sure some may get a foot caught and trip along the way, but as long as they get up and back on the path nothing’s lost. Stay on the path my young friend. You’re doing great.
Andrew, you are brilliant and you CAN do this. I understand what its like to have the loss of someone or something (or addition of something or someone for that matter) or issues with friends to put a kink into our plans and strategies for navigating life. The fact that I know means I’m not going to sit her and tell you that it’s not as hard as it seems or that its going to get easier, because to be honest it’s not going to get easier…ever. But I do know that you are capable of handling it AND the workload that you have and as you progress through life and grow and become more wonderful and amazing than you already are you will become more capable of handling lifes curve balls and wobbly stones. If you ever need to talk about papers, readings, stuff you’ve written, life, or anything at all you know where to find me. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
~ Adrienne
Thank you guys! Your sincerity means the world to me.